Reflection

Yesterday marked the ten year anniversary of 9/11, and I have really taken the time to reflect on that event and the decade following it. My memories of that day are fuzzy, and I can't remember my exact reaction. I was eleven years old. It was beyond my understanding of the world that this could happen. In a series of days, I learned that there are people out there who hate, and do things like this. For my generation, we grew up alot in a matter of a day. But that was the extent, I was not developmentally capable of having an empathetic reaction. Last night I read the news stories on the commemorations, and they had a news clip that was from The 9-11. And so I watched what unfolded ten years ago, and it was like seeing it for the first time. There were images that I had never seen; I didn't see the actual collapse and people running out and down the streets as an eleven year old. I didn't see people covered in rubble emerging. And I think that was my parents protecting me, they wanted me exposed to what happened, and understand. But they did not want their child seeing the full extent of suffering. They (or any other parent) could never prevent an attack like this, but I believe all parents did what they could to protect us emotionally that day. But what I did see was my country coming together- I did see the firefighters working endlessly, I saw President Bush continually giving support, I saw my school and community offer up support by wearing red, white, and blue, and sending cards to New York.
As the years have gone by, various aspects of my life have been directly affected by that day. My seventh grade dance recital's theme was "America": each dance level was a branch of the military (mine was Navy) and I remember all of the dances and our songs had an American theme, many of the songs were written as a tribute to 9-11. I visited NYC when I was 16, and my main memory of that is visiting Ground Zero, and the surrounding areas. The most striking is the church (I honestly do not know the name) about a block away that was entirely untouched, and was a shelter to the firefighters and others during the days after. The entire church is filled with cards, stuffed animals, blankets, and many other items that Americans sent to honor or help those affected. The pews are scuffed and scratched from the equipment of firefighters coming in to rest. Cots line one wall with blankets still on them that were sent from all over for the volunteers. Of everywhere I have ever visited, this is probably the most moving and influential, because of the reality of what happened there.
And then there was the day Osama was found and killed. I clearly remember the moment I learned what happened. One of my friends, who is extremely conservative, said on Facebook, "I have never been more proud to be an American" and he said something to the effect of applauding President Obama's speech. Immediately, I went to the news page and saw that Osama's face took over the entire page, and the headline was that he had been captured and killed. My thought: (and pardon the language, but this is one time that no other can explain the emotion) 'damn. we really got him.' It was something that I honestly thought would never happen. In the midst of being in France, I had never been more proud to be an American, and I wish that I had been home to see it unfold.
As fond as I am of some good Mexican food, French pastries and perfume, or Italian shoes and spaghetti; nothing will ever come close to the love and pride I feel every time I see Old Glory waving below a crisp blue sky, honoring those who have given their lives to protect the soil that flag looks over, and celebrating "the truths that we hold to be self evident of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness". And there is nothing, no terrorist attack, no stock market crash, economy, or political debate that will ever change the pride of our country. History and personal experience have taught me that yes, America does fall, but it gets back up even stronger than before.

Controversy

~~~~~I love few things more than a good case of controversy, and recently the UNC campus has been flooded with it. A Christian a-capella group asked a member to leave due to his homosexuality. The group's constitution is based off of Biblical teachings;and their mission is to lead lives reflecting a Christian lifestyle, which means adhering to the Bible. The question is, do these guidelines go against the anti-discrimation policy of the University? I have very mixed feelings about the issue, because of my Christian faith and my personal beliefs in a tolerant society. So please, anyone who reads this, don't attack me. I mean for this in no way to be condemning or I am rasing questions about a very specific case that I believe is relevant to our times. I am very open to people's beliefs and life choices. This post will err to the side of conservatism, but that is because my emphasis is on the group, which does have specific rules and guidelines for its members.
~~~~~~Many groups on campus have condemned Psalm 100 (name of a capella group) for practicing discrimination. But where is the line between having standards and expectations, and being tolerant? I believe that this group is perfectly within their right to remove members who are not adhering to Biblical principles if that is in their Constitution. To join this group is a personal choice, and going into it, I am sure that members are well aware of their expectations. My hope is that they are being fair in monitoring their members' behavior. Someone who is caught cheating or stealing should be penalized as well (I would hope in ANY organization this is the case....).
~~~ There are certain organizations I know that I would not join because I will not agree to their doctrine. I know I would not join a church whose message is that I need to stay home and pop out kids forever while never cutting my hair. I know that I do not agree with or accept this, therefore I will not be particpating. Other people can, and that is their choice entirely. I do not expect this theoretical church to change their doctrine because I do not like aspects of it. Another example is that many sororties have a no alchohol policy. Attending sorority sponsored events intoxicated, or being intoxicated while wearing letters can result in dismissal. Women are aware of the standard, and the consequence. If removed, the group is not discriminating her for consuming alchol. She is being dismissed for breaking a rule.
~~~~~But then, the other side to this issue I find fault in is: to what degree of accountablilty are other members being held to? Being that they are a campus organization who recieves University funding, do they have the right to ask members to leave based off of sexual orientation or views that go aganinst their principles? UNC has a strict anti-discrimination policy which I fully support. Every single person should be able to live and thrive in a community without fear of persecution and judgement. This is a very small scale issue for what I believe to be a broad issue for our generation. How do we integrate our beliefs with others? How do uphold these beliefs while still being open to other people's choices? I look forward to seeing the outcome of this situation and the campus reaction. As I stated in the opening paragraph, I meant this post in no way to be judgemental or offensive. I simply wanted to record an issue, and try to give it meaning. I am personally accepting of many different people, and their life choices.

New Beginings

The last time I posted on here, I was preparing to leave France. A whole summer has passed since then, and I really believe that summers have a way of being definitive. My reintegration back into American life came easier than I imagined it would. I was excited to be back home, and Im still happy to be home. I miss France and Europe very much some days, and my experiences there are something I treasure. But my life is here, and after being home a few months,I fully recognize that fact. I could never permanently live abroad, in all honesty,I don't really envision moving out of North Carolina. Too much of what matters to me in life is rooted here in the Tar Heel state for me to move far away. I absolutely want to travel more, and have experiences abroad.
Upon my arrival home, I began working as a camp counselor at a day camp. I think everyone should work with kids for an extended period of time at least once in their lives. It really opened my eyes to how much agony I must have put my parents through. There were crazy days when I was easily frustrated by the kids. But then there were the days when their big brown eyes could melt my heart, and I felt like I was doing something to leave some sort of an impression in the world. The best thing to be around was to see the world through a child's eye again. Sometimes I wished that I could capture their simplistic and innocent outlooks on life. More about camp in another post.
I transferred to UNC Chapel Hill, which is a life long dream come true. I had a Carolina blue TI-84 for Algebra I in high school as motivation. It did not work enough. I am a Communication and French double major, and I have no idea what exactly I will be doing with that diploma. Right now I know that I love the classes I have, though they are more challenging. the Comm major is another reason this blog will live beyond being a public diary of travels. I believe in the power of networking, and having my name out there somewhere.
The first 8 months of this year have been amazing, and I am so happy to have had the experiences that I have. I look forward to my academic future as a Tar Heel, and to my future in general, as Aleigha. I am not 100% positive where I am going, but I know that I have an amazing support system, and that life is full of wonderful surprises.

Closing Time

So my days in Grenoble are coming to an end, and I am left here with some serious mixed emotions. To start off- this semester has been by far one of the best life choices I have made, and while it may have been an expensive life choice, it was worth every last penny. I had to make some sacrifices coming into this experience, and even here. But the value of overlooking Grenoble from the Bastille, or all of Paris from the Eiffle Tower is priceless. I have finally seen places that I have dedicated years to learning about- places that I doubted I would ever see, but only dream about.
However, some of the sweetest, most precious moments of this semester cannot be summarized in pictures, you cannot browse my photos and know the feelings I had. What made this experience so sweet was forming the relationships that I did along the way. The experiences that can't be captured on film or recorded are the days you eat lunch with a friend, and have real talk about everything in life, its having a slightly tipsy heart to heart on the way home, running/walking up the Bastille. Its sitting on a beach in Nice, eating packaged waffles and drinking strawberry water, and talking about everything there is to talk about. Its letting go of your inhibitions and kissing in public, dancing in a park when there is no music, and dancing in the kitchen while pancakes are frying. Its enjoying an ice cream cone on a bench by yourself on a warm afternoon. Its splitting a baguette and nutella with friends in a park on a splendid afternoon. Its reconnecting with Jesus while sitting in a magnifincent cathedral. Seriously- how can you go in a cathedral and not feel moved by some sort of presence? Or for that matter, look at the Swiss Alps that surround you, and not feel insignificant, knowing there has to be something bigger, and higher out there. And it is really hard to the leave the people I have made these memories with. The knowledge that this experience can never be duplicated again is a big pill to swallow.
But, as sad as I am to leave all of this behind- there is a part of me that is happy to be home again. I am so excited to see family and friends again! I very much look forward to having my life again. Having the option to drive, money to spend, and feeling productive, are just a few of the things I look forward to.
There are some personal changes that I will be making thanks to a semester in France: one, I am going to update my wardrobe a bit, adding lots more black and neutrals. I will be phasing out lots of my older clothes, namely sundresses and bright/pastel colors. I have really taken a liking to French fashion, and I would like to incorporate as much as possible into my "real life" wardrobe. Secondly, I have learned how to eat well here, including correct portions. I never really realized how much we do eat at home until I left, and slimmed down a bit. And no more fast food. Ever. No milkshakes, fries, etc. I never ate it that much at home to begin with, and after having gone a semester without, I am perfectly content to never put that stuff in my mouth again.
So, needless to say, I am feeling a little bittersweet at the moment. So for those of you at home, if I seem a little wistful, or I talk about France too much, please don't be offended: it has become a big part of who I am, and the people here have heard quite a bit about you :)

The Horizon

There are certain things I would like to see happen in the future of our world. I would like to see a world where every woman has the ability to make the choices she wants, without any fear of persecution or humiliation. In this vision, "Jessica" from rural Alabama can see the world beyond her small town and its narrow idealogoy, and she can return to loving arms whenever she wants. "Anna" from Somalia will have regular access to birth control, and will not fear her husband's disapproval, and they will not have to bury children who die of starvation or other preventable illnesses. She herself will not die in childbirth, leaving a husband and several small children. Little Maria, in the remote Andes mountains, will always have crayons and coloring books. Emily from Illinois chooses to stay at home and be a mother without criticism from "feminists." On the same token, Katy graduates suma cum laude from Yale, and will go on to be a surgeon. I want to see every Muslim woman make the conscious choice whether or not she wants to wear the veil, or a burqa. If that is her choice, that is completely acceptable. And if she chooses not to, it is equally acceptable. I want to see every child in the world have a healthy and happy childhood, without ever living in fear of bombs, or a parent drinking too much and hitting. I want a world where 13-15 year olds are not committing suicide in atrocious numbers because of bullying or choices in sexuality.
~~~~ I want to see a world full of healthy and clean fruits and vegetables. Not bio-chemically engineered pieces of cells we call "food." Monsanto is quietly destroying the world, and few people even know it. Thanks to this company, and many others like it, we are ingesting the ingredients for cancer on a daily basis.
~~~~~~~ My wishes are very idealogical and common. It is one thing entirely for me to sit and here and name the problems I see in the world. (sarcasm) "Congratulations me! Way to point out the obvious!" We know the problems that exist, we know that evil is in the world, and there will always be suffering. But it just seems to me maybe we could all try a little harder. One of my favorite writers, Nicholas Kristof of the New York Times, inspires every time I read a blog post or article of his. And his writings make realize that I have done virtually nothing to contribute to the world. We all like to think that the little things we do are helpful, but are they? I do not necessarily aspire to achieve the most profound, human changing establishment around. But there has to be a little something I can do, right? I want to be pretty honest in saying that I feel my measly few dollars that go in the offering plate do not really go that far, and even if I were to go somewhere for a month, or even summer, I do not see that as having a lasting impact on someone's life.
~~~ Personally, I find that many of the charities that exist benefit the giver more than the recipient, and that the giver has this nice, warm fuzzy that we did something. But did we?
My friend told me about a sermon at her church where the minister said, "1,000 children died of starvation last night. And guess what? The majority of you don't give a damn; further, that same majority is more shocked that I said 'damn' in church than that many children died". What is sad, is that this is 100% true.

The question that I must ask myself is what I am going to do? I know that at the end of my life, I want to have done something worthwhile. I am tired of being passive, and saying that I will do such and such when I'm older. I have made a very conscious decision that I want a life of substance that benefits other people. I have been extremely blessed in my life; I have never gone without, and I have so, so much. The simple fact that I am a high school graduate who has had regular meals and health care, is so much more than most women in the world can say they have.
I will not change the world, any reader knows that. But maybe I can change the life of just one child. If I can at least do that, then I can go in peace.

Here is a link that got me thinking about all this: http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2009/08/26/magazine/20090826-a-womens-world-reader-photos.html#/0

2011

We only five months into 2011, and I honestly feel like it has been the most eventful year in my life; globally, politically, and personally. On hearing the news of Bin Laden's death, I was shocked, and almost in a state of disbelief. Seeing justice served to the person who brought my nation so much grief and pain was incredible. I choose to see his death more of a symbol rather than actually celebrating someone's death. His death symbolizes the end of an undercover tyranny. It is the end to someone who tried taunting and shrouding Americans in fear, and won for a short while. The unfortunate fact is that there are others who are willing to step up to his plate, but seeing the mastermind behind 9/11 gone is something I will truly never forget. All of the Middle East uprisings, and demands for leaders to step down has been another huge event in 2011. I saw Egypt throw out their leader, same with Cote d'Ivor. I saw people from Cote d'Ivor demonstrating in front of United Nations when I was in Geneva. At the time, I did not know the magnitude of what I was witnessing, but as the events unfolded, Ilearned that I saw something huge. The Royal wedding took place this year. While it may not have been overwhelmingly important, it was still a very historic moment that will go down in text books and be in museums. I have seen enough museums and portraits this year to know that their day will forever be remembered. Even 200 years from now, when school children meander through a museum, they will see the portraits of King William's wedding day. I was in Rome merely days before Pope John Paul II was to be beatified. While I am not Catholic, that was still something very historic that I had the opportunity to witness. On a less positive note, I will also never forget the natural disasters I saw this year. As for my personal life, so many, many wonderful blessings have happend: I have had the extremely wonderful opprotunity to pass the semester in France, which is one of my lifelong dreams finally come true. I have lived with a wonderful host family, and learned to speak a new language. I was accepted to UNC Chapel Hill, and I am enrolled! I met, and have the best guy I could ever imagine, who exceeds my expectations. Yes, 2011 has been quite a year for the world, the US, and myself. I can only imagine what the second half of this year could possibly be...

A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes (peter pan)

This past weekend was possibly one of the best I have yet to have in France, and maybe even one of the best of my life. I went to Nice, St. Tropez, and Eze on the French coast touching the Mediterranean, aka, The French Riviera. The buildings, the sea, the land scape, were all so beautiful and breathtaking. St. Tropez is a port in France, famous for its yacht users, and I must say that I saw some pretty impressive boats. We walked around the town for a while, which is built on a hill overlooking the Mediterranean, replete with cobblestoned, winding streets. The buildings are all painted different colors such as yellow and orange, with mismatched shutters. It was absolutely adorable and charming. My resident director, Marie told us that St. Tropez could be the French version of Malibu. Personally, I did not find St. Tropez as glitter stricken as Malibu, but maybe that is because I visited in the off season. After St. Tropez, we made our way to Nice, which is a large city on the sea. The architecture in Nice is gorgeous- big white buildings with intricate crown molding, and the older part of town is similar to the St. Tropez architecture. I got to play on the beach and dip my toes in the Mediterrianen. Quite a few people acutually went swimming, not this chica. I am from the South. I have a physical intolerance to cold water, but most of the people who swam are from Boston, so this water was either equal to, or warmer than what they are used to. I went to Mass Saturday evening, which was very interesting because I have never been to Catholic Mass or church in French. So that was a good experience, and no matter the language, it is always a positive and uplifting place to go! And it was Palm (Saturday, not Sunday). I will be attending Easter Mass this coming Sunday as well. For dinner that evening I had smoked salmon on buttered toast with a salad on the side. As usual, it was delightful. That night my friend Ali and I promenaded along the coast and through town. We returned (exhausted) to our hotel, and shared a few cookies and had girl talk time. On Sunday, we had the chance to see a marathon going through Nice, and after that we went to a parfumerie, which is where perfume is made. I now understand why perfume is soo expensive: it takes a literal Ton of lavender to squeeze out the essential oils that fill a liter bottle. We were free to walk around town for a while, and then we packed up to head back to Grenoble! The weather was fabulous,landscape marvelous, and company delightful. I could not have dreamed up a better weekend. I now have exactly a month left, and I can't believe how quickly it went by. It seems like yesterday that I was at home, and leaving for France in a month. I have been dreaming of being in France for years, planning for months, and enjoying every moment of it for weeks. These last weeks are going to fly, and I intend to make the most of them. I won't go so far as to say that study abroad changed my life, I'm a whole new person, but it opened my eyes to a few things. It gave me the chance to spend some quality time with myself, meet cool people from all over the world, and just have a few carefree months. I will never in a million years regret leaving my home and my family to travel here, nor will I forget the friendships and relationships I have made. I am truly blessed, and I do believe I am the most happy that I have ever been.